Thu. Dec 1st, 2022

I do want to thank Jason, and everyone at the Monastery again for welcoming me with such openness. I’m still amazed that I was granted this possibility to see shining examples of the teachings of A Course in Miracles, and for the very first time in a lengthy while, I do not feel alone.

Section of me wanted to stay longer, but beneath that desire was thinking that I could be doing so for the incorrect reason; as an easy way in order to avoid my problems. The stronger feeling was, and is, that my travels will continue.

Before I left, Jason asked if I had had any insights. What I’m about to talk about wasn’t yet clear at that time; only on the drive away did it coalesce.

That morning, several lines from a Vance Joy song kept running through my head, “I never should have told you, never should have let you see inside acim teacher. Don’t want it troubling the mind, won’t you allow it to be?” This confused me as I possibly could not consider anything that I had stated that I felt regret for.

Eventually, the phrase, “don’t want it troubling your mind” stood out. This reminded me that probably the most prominent fear I had in visiting the Monastery was that I would somehow interfere having its residents’peace of mind, by just my presence alone. This belief that I possibly could negatively affect other people’s state of mind has been with me for quite some time, and has colored many of my past experiences and relationships.

This fear left my awareness right after I arrived. On the drive away it rose again, but I remembered David saying in one of is own videos that minds cannot attack. I cried and laughed, and now feel as if the belief is being (has been?) released.

There are other items that happened that felt important, but I can’t consider them right now.

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